Our Manifesto

If your clients are fucking up the planet, what can you do?

Find someone who’s unfucking the planet – in the exact opposite way to your clients – and give them your time pro bono

Call it karmic offsetting.

The big brands have all the money, and all the power. They pay us to create desire. We know how to make people want more, more, more.

The result is a planet on fire, oceans full of plastic, animals going extinct – ad people didn’t create this state of affairs, but we sure helped. We have powerful skills. We’re persuasive.

This is our superpower.

We’re not here to berate you, and make you feel bad about yourself or the industry. You’re nice, good people who have values and ethics and you’re charming and fun.

So help save the planet by using your superpower for good.

There are many organisations and campaigns who need you. They don’t have the money and resources of your clients.

It’s like they’re riding a bicycle in a Formula 1 race. And it’s hurtling towards destruction for all of us.

You can help stop it. The big brands only sound good because they use people like us to help them. We make their Formula 1 cars for them. Without us, they’d have a Raleigh Chopper at best.

With our help, the companies who are heating the planet, killing the animals, burning the forests and filling the oceans with plastic sound reasonable, caring and concerned, while they carry on as before. Governments make promises, but go on subsidising fossil fuels and plan to extract more.

The people who are trying to stop them sound shrill and powerless. They don’t have our powers of persuasion and they can’t afford them.

They can if we give them pro bono.

Please use your superpower pro bono mundi. For the good of the world.

Ad agencies sometimes work free for people in need.

We are all in need.

All the people, all the animals, all the plants, the bugs and mushrooms, the whole lot. Our planet, our Earth.

Do this now:

1) Find an organisation that’s fighting to save the planet – acting against the damage your clients are doing

2) Give them your time, energy and skills

3) Share what you’re doing here and encourage others to act

We can do this. We can turn things round, but we can’t wait.

You decide who you should help. We’re not political, but we know we will be accused of it. We’re on the side of the Earth, our children and our grandchildren, for every living being, against the biological and social destruction we can plainly see all around us.

We helped cause it. Now help fix it. We can, together. Ludicrous optimism? No. We’ve seen the power of advertising. Imagine if it were put to good use.

Do it for love of this Earth.

Pro Bono Mundi. For the good of the world.

FAQs and Fuck Yous

If our clients are fucking up the planet why don’t we just stop working for them?

If you’re in charge of your agency, you could do that. But how often does it happen? And anyway, once upon a time, loads of agencies decided not to sell cigarettes anymore, but the tobacco companies haven’t gone bust. Because some other fucker nips in and does their evil bidding anyway. Far sweeter to take the money yourself by day, but don your cape and mask by night and give your time to the opposition.

Why don’t we persuade them to stop doing it?

Let us know how it goes. Slowly, is our guess. If at all. But you should definitely try – just don’t let that be all you do. They’ll take a lot of persuading, because – money.

We already do pro bono, so we’re good.

Great. Are you using your superpower yourself, or is this delegated down somewhere? The guys in despatch are running a youth club, or some such? Which is fabulous, but look yourself in the eye and ask if you are actually deploying your divine gifts to save the planet.

Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am?

Yes. A wise proverb says, if you want something doing, ask a busy person. We’re asking you because you’re so busy, and your energy is renewable.

My clients are good people and they have a CSR programme in place.

Whoopy-do. Very pleased for them. But a) have you checked it out? – a lot of CSR is greenwash, and minuscule compared to the damage going on in the real business and b) are you personally involved?

Won’t I be betraying my client’s trust by giving time to organisations who try to stop them fucking up the planet?

They’ll thank you for it in the end. And they won’t go bust. You can be sure your clients will adapt and survive. But they won’t unless they’re forced to.

I signed an NDA and so I can’t tell on my clients

Nobody’s asking you to break the law. It’s between you and your conscience. But most of this isn’t secret. We all know who’s doing the damage, and we can act against it without breaking confidentiality.

This whole thing is made up. A scam. Fake. Climate change is a natural phenomenon.

OK, that’s crap, but if you believe it, put your efforts somewhere else. The ocean is full of plastic. That’s not a natural phenomenon. The turtles don’t drink Coke. And so on. You can do a lot to clean up the planet without believing in climate science. It needs doing and you have the power to help.

Our client plants a tree every time they emit so much as a fart of greenhouse gas

Good, but not enough. Have you noticed how fast trees grow? And while a tree in the Home Counties is lovely, they’re busy sawing down the Amazon rainforest much faster.

The scientists will find a solution and save us all

We saw how fast the scientists can solve problems during the pandemic – given a whole lot of money and political will. If the same were applied to the climate emergency, we’d have a chance. But the will and the money aren’t there yet, which is where you come in.

The government has pledged to sort this all out

And is also still subsidising fossil fuel companies, planning new coal mines and oil rigs. They get paid a lot of money by fossil fuel interests, and politicians like money. They like votes even more, however, which again is where you come in. Despite what they pretend, most of the huge social changes in the world were not brought about by politicians, but started with wild protesters and lone voices, who were demonised at first, but gradually changed minds and then the world. Do we need to mention for example the Suffragettes? It’s going to be the same with this, apart from the ‘gradually’ part. The time for ‘gradually’ was about 1976, it turns out. The governments of the world need a hefty shove.

I’m one person, all alone – what can I do?

No you’re not. We are many. We need to talk and gain strength from each other. Talk to your colleagues and you’ll find lots of them are worried and want to do something. Share here and see what we can all achieve.

We’re all doomed anyway, so party on!

Not yet. According to the latest analysis, this is the decade when we will decide our fate. Act now, and we can avert catastrophe. If we don’t you can have your party, or more likely, wake, in 2030.

And what about you two? What makes you so perfect?

We’re not. We worked for years in the business and some of our clients were doing the right thing, but others not. Now we’re offsetting our work by doing this here, and also by working pro bono for various NGOs and charities. We’ll start posting some of those examples here. We have also issued the industry’s first rallying cry. This blog.

But this isn’t about us. We’re not important. The planet is. And we’re not ridden with guilt, and nor should you be. It won’t help, and it’s trivial self-indulgent crap. The point is to get on and do something positive right now. To use our superpowers while we can.

P.S. Have a look at our Ted Talk pitch for even more specific action ideas…